I just finished watching the documentary Maxed Out.  It had me crying myeyes out.  It should be required viewing for every American. Seriously.  

Often, I feel as if I'm the only one who ended up in this mess of debt.  Afterwatching Maxed Out, I don't feel so alone.  

The movie made me think back to how I was sucked into living beyond my means on credit cards.  I remembered slightly but pulled out my childhood diaries to see if I was right.  After the reality set in, that I was just a child when it all started, I wanted to share my story.

It was 1987 and I was 13 years old.  My Mother and I were at the Galleria mall in White Plains, NY.  It was the 80s and being a teenager there wasno cooler place than the mall, and this was MY mall.  We were in JCPenney and there was a display table set up with teddy bears so I ran over.  Theywere giving away a free teddy bear that day to anyone who applied for aJCPenney credit card.  

Isaid to my mother, "Please, mom, can I get the teddy bear?" and she said, "Sure, go ahead and fill out the application, there is no way theyare going to give a credit card to a 13 year old."  After filling out the application, I was handed my teddy bear and weeks later, contrary to mymother's belief, I received my first credit card in the mail at age 13.  

The ambitious New Yorker in me thought, wow, if I can get one that easily, I wonderhow many more I can get.  On the weekends, I ran around to every otherstore in the mall filling out applications for store credit cards.  TheA&S credit card was the next one to appear in the mail.  

As a 34-year-old woman typing this story, even though it happened to me, I can'tbelieve it is true, but it is.

Fast forward to age 17 when I receive my first major credit card.  I spend thesummer in London, living beyond my means.  I spend the 1990s averaging an income of about $27,000 a year but living as if I am bringing in $70,000. I went to London almost every year, paying for the whole trip by credit card.  Hotels, airfare, concerts, expensive dinners and clothing all wenton the cards.  One year I bought so much clothing I had to buy a newsuitcase to bring it all back.  

There were many months I couldn't make rent so I paid for it with checks from mycredit cards.

Throughout this whole process, I still had good credit because I always found a way to paythe minimum due.  Pretty early on I learned the game of always switching my huge balance to the best intro offer that came in the mail.  I've beenbalance switching to the lowest APRs for my entire adult life.  

During law school, I had to live off the cards again because first year of law schoolyou are prohibited from taking a job.  Oh, did I mention I did law schoolfull loans?  

At one point I had $20,000 worth of credit card debt, car payments of $352 amonth, medical and dental bills and almost $200,000 in law school loans. I have never known adult life without debt.  It has always been amassive burden that causes much stress and anxiety.  

I am proud to say that I have been "off the cards" for over 3 yearsnow.  I say it like that because I can admit now that I had a spendingproblem.  I was an addict.  I was addicting to living beyond mymeans.  One of the quotes I always loved growing up was "live eachday as if it was your last", no one tells you that if it isn't, the billshows up!

If everything goes as planned, in Dec 2008, I will be free of consumer debt forthe first time in my adult life.  I'll be 35 years old.  Sure, I'll still have my law school loans but at least the credit card debt will be goneand most important, I'll have been off the cards for over 4 years and learnedto live within my means.  

What I find frustrating is that, every day is a temptation.  I work in BeverlyHills and each day I bring lunch to save money.  My co-workers have calledme cheap for not spending the money to eat out.  I can't tell you theamount of my friends that mock me for "my budget".  They aresick of hearing me say, I can't do that, it isn't in my budget.  I'm proudof myself for living an honest life and only spending the money I have andpaying back what I owe.  I just wish it was respected more.  

I always thought I made the healthy decisions, I didn't smoke, do drugs, Iexercise and eat well.  That is what made trying to figure out how I endedup in this mess so hard, I thought I respected myself.  It was my supposedrespect for myself that put me in this mess.  I thought part of living well was having nice things andgoing to impressive places.

Growing up, I was raised to believe that I deserved nice things. When I lived in NYC mymother always wanted me taking cabs rather than riding the subway.  Ifsomething good happened, we always went out to eat.  I was at the moviesevery weekend. Every Christmas, we really did get what we wanted.  Infact, looking back at childhood photos, I'm taken back by the picture of mysister with her nine Cabbage Patch Kids dolls.  We had family vacationsevery year.

WhenI ventured out on my own at the early age of seventeen, I just maintained theonly lifestyle I knew.  The credit cards allowed me to live the lie. It wasn't easy to change my thinking that if I didn't have all the newestand nicest things, I wasn't worth less.  Every single day is a struggle. 

The biggest piece of advice I have is to live an honest life.  Live withinyour means.  Build wealth.  If you have debt, do everything you canto pay it off and never go back.  I was a junkie and the credit card companies were my dealers.  They knew it.  

I'd love a home to call my own, children and even a dog.  At age 34 for thefirst time in my life, I finally make enough to pay my bills.  I can't afford a mortgage though.  My friends and I joke that the best form of birth control is debt!  I'd love a dog but I'm working so much to pay thebills I wouldn't be home and can't afford doggy daycare.  

Consumer debt is changing a generation in more ways than we can even imagine. Share your story.  Tell others.  Live an honest life.  Get rid of the shame.  Free yourself.